Locked Up

The keyless entry feature on my wife’s 1991 Buick Roadmaster quit working.

“Eh, use the key”, said I.

“Uh, uh, baby. You fix that thing”, she seemed to say.

So, the local car radio and security installer says to me, “300 Dollars, plus tax.”

Checking on eBay, I learn that the device he intends to install is $47. So … $253 labor?

Let’s try something else. A plain-jane remote unlocker from China is $5.98 with free shipping. What the heck, I bought one, and here it is.

Buick Remote

It’s the little box with the red wire. That’s right … $5.98, and four hours labor.

It was a hairy bitch of a job, requiring hours bent over in back of the station wagon, much reading of OEM wiring diagrams, fussing with splice connectors that REFUSED to make contact, repeated testing of circuits with meter and paper clips …

Yes, I made $64 an hour doing it myself, but it was painful, and there was more than one moment where I feared I might fail.

“Why”, you might ask, “is the OEM receiver still connected?”

Because, dear heart, the driver’s door lock solenoid depends on the keyless entry receiver to reverse circuit polarity during lock/unlock cycles. Can you believe it?

Good thing that part of the box works, else I would have needed to add a couple of relays.

The moral of this story is: Don’t feel bad if you take yours to the installer. I almost wish I did.

The Daily Blurb

The Illusion of Gravity

It has been centuries since the Vanya, in a convulsion of psychotic rage, set off a fission bomb on the mainland. Now quarantined on the Laghu continent, their primary exports are kidnapping and murder.

At a research lab in Cognate territory, a devastating accident signals the end of a technological impasse that has stalled Anye civilization at the edge of space for a thousand years.

A cluster of instruments lodged in a water tank survives. Physicist Rivan Saraf has what he needs to unravel the mysteries of the universe, and perhaps save his people from the final gasp of a dying star.

But the Vanya are on the hunt, and if they find him they will kill him.

Blurb out!

Here is, I think, my back page text for the new Quantum Soul cover:

Seventy years have passed since Rivan Saraf lifted Transdimensional Physics into the domain of working theory.  Aircars navigate the skies, spacecraft cross light-years in minutes, and finally, Nalanda University has produced a successor with commensurate talent.

Amil Leyta intended to work in orbital manufacturing, but his studies have taken an unexpected turn. He has built a device that images the essence of life, evoking the remarkable discovery that there is more than one type of soul.

They appear on his monitor at deathbed vigils, shining bright across the boundary between dimensions. He imagines they are Angels, guiding spirits to the between-life, and wonders if the Gods will allow what he must do next.

Because Amil knows how to bring them here.

Sing!

Old McDonald had some pharms,
ee yi ee yi oh

And with his pharms there came alarms,
ee yi ee yi oh

With a side effect here and a heart attack there,
here a clot there a stroke,
bet you wish you never smoked

Old McDonald had some pharms,
ee yi ee yi oh

– A nursery song for our times –
Copyright 2017 John Greene Dyer

First pick!

I’m very satisfied with how my contest is going at 99Designs. So much so that I’ve decided to re-title and re-package my first novel.

Anzu will soon be withdrawn and republished. Here’s the preview. In a couple of days, the first round will come to an end, I’ll start another poll, and the cover for Quantum Soul will be selected. Woohoo!

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